Funny SAO story
by Durakira
Summary: lol
1. Chapter 1

The story is about a boy "kazuto kirigay" but lets shorte that to kirito. Basically he goes to sleep with his bike helmet on and has a wonderful dream full of autistic plot holes and retarded characters, in this dumb dream he meets Automated Sex Utility Nanobiotic Android, Asuna for short and the cheg at one point or suhin. Then a little cunt pops out called YUI, short for your mum is disappointed in you. Basically yeah kurt cobain and ass machine go on an adventure where they cheg at every given opportunity and then kristmas gets crabs and dies. Then at kremlins funeral Alasdair cries and chegs krimbleton's mate, calvin klein, so mr cleen and aspergers disease have a child and call it kirito 6.4 and then artichoke chegs her son who came out the womb fully developed at 6 foot 7.

Ok so yeh later in the year 2066 krisp is revived from cryo stasis and Abercrombie and fitch punches him in the puss and Kirsty nutted all over andy murray's chest, anyway Andrew coull destroys kat in the hats willy and calls him a baka. Krispy Kreme 619'd Kleenex because he tried to do a mr steal your girl to him, Kimberly 1945'd him so hard that he permanently modified his dna structure. Ash ketchum came back from doing her womanly duties, i.e. cooking and sewing, and when she sees the terrible plight that cluny clays has got into she self-destructs in a fit of doritos.

Since it's of the future or something that unbearable piece of excrement YUI is a physical entity. Much to everyone's discontent, when daddy yankee is asleep, Soulja boy tell 'em smashed his longinus. Kanye woke up and shouted "YUI YOU FAT SACK OF SHITE" Kardashian was so upset at this unfortunate development that he summoned sinon from the future and made her eat seven tapeworms.

Oh well so that was chapter one or suhin, um yeah chapter 2 will come soon lmao….


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2: baldis basics in education and learning

Alreet so kart racer was beating his pepperami to Garfield live action when a sooner walked through the door and threw a knife at his big toe. Kwebblekopp looked at her and used his dick to vacuum suck bitchface closer to his chamber,

"What the fuck do you think you're doing?"

"Sorry babe I was doing the dishes when I thought to myself, boy I would love to shove daddy's big toe up my nostrils" Kirito was appalled by this horrid confession, but oddly enough, he was turned on. Kirito's face turned into the me gusta meme and asuna's backside tripled in volume and blocked the door way so kirito couldn't escape. Kirito just couldn't understand Ass' ulterior motives, what did she want from him? Kirito immediately done a quadruple backflip into a perfect dogeza and started begging for his life, which is only natural for someone to do when some retard enters their private inn with a collection of knives. Kirito picked asuna up by the waist with one hand and threw her on the table, then Kirito started ironing his clothes on asuna stomach and chest because he didn't want to burn the table. Ass face was in complete agony, there was a massive burn line that showed kirito's trail of torment. When kirito finished, he told asuna to make him a sandwich and beef-curry back handed her into the next dimension. After asuna breast fed kirito they both went to sleep.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3 : Garfield

Kirito and Asuna are having dinner somewhere on the 50th floor, aldi's, then some 12 y/o old loli bitch with some gay rat on her shoulder, she introduced herself as silica. Asuna slowly approached her and said, "your type isn't welcome here, child" and then RKO'd her through the table and took the ICW championship belt. Though it was a shame because unknown to Asuna, Kirito had alread silicon 20 times this week. Kirito was livid he tried to punch asuna but she dodged it and his fist went all the way around the earth and hit kirito in the knapper.

"I'm sorry, KiKi-Kyun~" Said asuna who was still wearing a maid costume from six centuries ago Kirito looked at her with the same eyes that may be seen from a hammerhead shark.

One afternoon dumbass was watching a pack of wild dogs rape someone when he saw some stupid cow running on the rooftops of the town of sodomy, chris griffin instantly knew who it was, because he levelled his sexual predator skill to the maximum, obviously it was the information dealer, and fellow confirimed sex offender, argo the rat. " OI ARGO YOU STUPID RATATOULLIE LOOKIN ASS, GET THE FOOK DOWN HERE RIGHT NOW!11!" unfortunately, Argo fucken sent him a message on epic games where games are epicness that said "'Eya love av been down ta tha shops and by shops I mean prostitution ring. Kirito was ultimately disappoint. Argo jumped down from the roof and 720 nipple twist no scoped him and he fucking died.

THE END… OR IS IT?/?/?/?


	4. Chapter 4

SAO meme chapter 4: takyon

It was the middle of January 2023 and kirito was super depresso expresso because chester bennington fucking died. Kos spent 5 hours listening to crawling in skin on repeat. Antman came into kurt cobain's room and saw him in his depressive state, as she got closer she smelled something odd, kwebblekopp was too busy headbanging to linkin park to notice her entry. Ass face looked under his bed to find a bag of crack rocks. "KIRITO ARE YOU SMOKING METH?"

Kirito looked up at her, the bags under his eyes saggier than your gran's tiddy,


	5. Chapter 5

Epilogue: sao 5

22/12/2032

Kirito is an old ass man (32) and he has chronic erectile dysfunction and his wife left him, with all of krusty krab's free time he made a fucking cyborg body for his 11th AI daughter, fanny baws. For his personal entertainment he gave the cyborg massive badonkadonks and a mandible the size of the original Henderson chin model that was invented in 1996. Kirito made the robot to try and get his 5th wife, who recently left him, back in his life. Kirito is also a raging alcoholic and an abusive father to his 11 children whom he keeps locked in his basement for years on end. Although he had abusive tendencies, kirito was a benevolent father, he allowed his children ONE MEAL per month. The meal in question consists of two doritos and a bottle of mountain dew. Kirito was at tesco's buying doritos when he saw his divorced wife – the fourth one – sinon who was looking for bananas for some reason, "omg look death gun-kun , there's loser-bitch kirito, lmao!1" kirito stabbed her and cut her pinky toe off. Kirito put his headphones on and blasted the vengeful one by disturbed while he went on a 20 day massacre with over 300 casualties. Sinon, who was hospitalised from an earlier incident was watching the news when she saw the headline of kirito's scran and she jumped 20 stories down on to the street and laned on kirito's knob. The government thought that the chugging power of kurt cobain and sine wave was too stronk so they nuked the entire city of Tokyo.


	6. Chapter 6

KAWAHARA REKI IS A FRAUD LOL


End file.
